“All of the horizontal battles are the fruit of a deeper war. The most important war, the one that needs to be won, is not the war they are having with each other, but a war that wages within them individually.
“Sin is anti-social. We don’t really have time to love our spouse, in the purest sense of what that means, because we are too busy loving ourselves. What we actually want is for our spouse to love us as much as love ourselves, and if our spouse is willing to do that, we will have a wonderful relationship.
“But there’s more. Sin dehumanizes people. No longer are they objects of our willing affection. No, they quit being the people we find joy in loving. Rather, they get reduced to two things. They are either vehicles to help us get what we want or obstacles in the way of what we want.
“Real unity begins when a husband and wife quit trying to be sovereign over their lives. Real unity begins when a husband and wife quit trying to set the agenda for their marriage and begin, in practical everyday ways, to pursue God’s agenda together. Real marital unity begins when a husband and wife quit being kings and begin to willingly and joyfully submit to the plans, purposes, and call of the same King. The more each one individually loves and serves the King of kings, the more they will be drawn together, sharing one dream and its practical implications for their everyday life together. Prayer reminds you of a King greater than you and a kingdom better than your own.” –
Paul David Tripp, What Did You Expect