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Gospel Romance: Teamwork

by | Feb 14, 2014 | Blog, Community, Worship

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A guest post by Kyle McNamara…

Helpful nuggets about how husbands and wives can learn to work together…

  • Things just work better when we do them God’s way.
  • If we (a former atheist and a former feminist) can learn to order our marriage the way God designed, anyone can.
  • Our current culture says leadership = dictatorship and submission = doormat.
  • God’s plan for marriage is so different from this and is infinitely better.  It is where true marital and familial joy can be found.
  • Clearly God made men and women different, to complement one another in marriage, which is His picture of the relationship between Christ and the church.
  • God made men to be servant leaders. He has called them to lay down their lives, sacrificing for their wives/families as they lead them, as Christ does (Ephesians 5:25, 28; Colossians 3:19; 1 Peter 3:7).
  • God made women to be helpers to their husbands, to joyfully submit to them, as the church does to Christ (Ephesians 5:22, 24; 1 Peter 3:1).
  • When we put God first it becomes easier to love our spouse as He would have us and to fulfill the roles He has given each of us.
  • Remember that your spouse loves you and is on your side. Find ways to remind your spouse of this important truth; as sinners, they will forget.
  • Give your spouse the grace and space to lead sacrificially or submit joyfully knowing that they will make mistakes. God is trustworthy; trust Him for the outcome.
  • Fail gracefully and humbly seeking forgiveness if you hurt someone in the process. Demonstrate grace.
  • Define a God-honoring vision for your unique family.
  • Honestly seek, value and consider your spouse’s perspective and thoughts as you cast and execute your family’s vision.
  • Husbands, decisions in this kind of leadership should not feel like unilateral edicts, but rather godly conclusions based on real discussion.
  • Husbands, when you need to lead and even nudge your family in a direction that is proving difficult for any member of your family—especially your wife—be gentle. Be godly. Be trustworthy, even when you fail.
  • Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laughing at ourselves and laughing with each other goes a long way to relieving tensions as you do make mistakes and sin against each other.
  • Find gentle/playful ways and words/phrases to remind each other when you might be falling back into old patterns of behavior (remember from our marriage “bossypants” 🙂 and “I love you and I am on your side”).

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