A guest post by Kyle McNamara…
Helpful nuggets about how husbands and wives can learn to work together…
- Things just work better when we do them God’s way.
- If we (a former atheist and a former feminist) can learn to order our marriage the way God designed, anyone can.
- Our current culture says leadership = dictatorship and submission = doormat.
- God’s plan for marriage is so different from this and is infinitely better. It is where true marital and familial joy can be found.
- Clearly God made men and women different, to complement one another in marriage, which is His picture of the relationship between Christ and the church.
- God made men to be servant leaders. He has called them to lay down their lives, sacrificing for their wives/families as they lead them, as Christ does (Ephesians 5:25, 28; Colossians 3:19; 1 Peter 3:7).
- God made women to be helpers to their husbands, to joyfully submit to them, as the church does to Christ (Ephesians 5:22, 24; 1 Peter 3:1).
- When we put God first it becomes easier to love our spouse as He would have us and to fulfill the roles He has given each of us.
- Remember that your spouse loves you and is on your side. Find ways to remind your spouse of this important truth; as sinners, they will forget.
- Give your spouse the grace and space to lead sacrificially or submit joyfully knowing that they will make mistakes. God is trustworthy; trust Him for the outcome.
- Fail gracefully and humbly seeking forgiveness if you hurt someone in the process. Demonstrate grace.
- Define a God-honoring vision for your unique family.
- Honestly seek, value and consider your spouse’s perspective and thoughts as you cast and execute your family’s vision.
- Husbands, decisions in this kind of leadership should not feel like unilateral edicts, but rather godly conclusions based on real discussion.
- Husbands, when you need to lead and even nudge your family in a direction that is proving difficult for any member of your family—especially your wife—be gentle. Be godly. Be trustworthy, even when you fail.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laughing at ourselves and laughing with each other goes a long way to relieving tensions as you do make mistakes and sin against each other.
- Find gentle/playful ways and words/phrases to remind each other when you might be falling back into old patterns of behavior (remember from our marriage “bossypants” 🙂 and “I love you and I am on your side”).